Relationships & boundaries
Repeating dynamics, difficulty saying no and the patterns that show up with partners, family, friends and at work. We work with the responses that happen faster than thought, so a boundary becomes something you can feel and hold, not just something your mind decides.
Relationship patterns live in the body
Most of what happens in close relationships happens faster than thought. You brace before a conversation, soften too quickly, go quiet, over-explain, or agree to something your body was already refusing. These are not character flaws; they are protective habits your nervous system learned somewhere it made sense.
Insight alone rarely changes them, which is why people can understand their patterns for years and still repeat them. Working somatically lets us catch the pattern while it is happening, slowly enough that a different response becomes possible.
What people bring here
- Struggling in relationships, or repeating the same painful dynamic
- Finding it hard to set boundaries or say no
- People-pleasing, over-giving and losing track of your own needs
- Conflict that either escalates fast or shuts down completely
- Family dynamics, including with partners, siblings and ageing parents
- Resentment, guilt and the exhaustion of holding everything together
How we work with it
We start with your signals. Before boundaries can be negotiated with anyone else, they have to become perceptible to you, the tightening, the sinking, the small no that arrives before the yes. Much of the early work is simply learning to notice it in time.
We build tolerance for other people's reactions. Often what makes a boundary impossible is not the saying but the aftermath: someone's disappointment, distance or anger. We work on staying present through that without collapsing or hardening.
We make room for your own history. Patterns of closeness and distance usually formed long before the current relationship. Meeting them with understanding rather than blame tends to loosen them faster than trying to override them.
We work on repair as much as on prevention. Ruptures are unavoidable in any close relationship; what makes the difference is being able to come back afterwards. Repair is a physical skill and it can be learned.
Practical details
Format
60-minute individual sessions, online or in person in Stockholm. Weekly or fortnightly to start.
First step
A free 15-minute introductory call. Length, fee and cancellation are set out on the Inside a session page.
Inside a session →If you're a parent
The exhaustion, guilt and short fuse of parenting have their own page, including parental burnout.
Parenting & parental burnout →
Questions people ask me
Do you work with couples?
I work one-to-one. That often turns out to be useful even when the difficulty is shared: understanding your own patterns, limits and needs tends to change the relationship itself, without both people needing to be in the room.
I know I should set boundaries, so why can't I?
Because boundaries are not only a decision. If your nervous system learned that disappointing someone was unsafe, saying no can register as a genuine threat. We work with that response first, so a boundary becomes something you can actually hold rather than something you keep resolving to do.
What about family life and parenting?
Family relationships belong here, partners, siblings, ageing parents and the inherited patterns that show up with them. The specific work of parenting and parental burnout has its own page, because it asks for something different: regulation and repair under constant demand.
What if I am not sure the problem is the relationship?
That is a good place to start. We can look at what happens in you around certain people, the bracing, the withdrawing, the over-giving and let clarity come from that rather than deciding in advance who is at fault.